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Husbands & Wives

Special Package for Businessmen  

An Airline introduced a special package for businessmen - buy your ticket, get your wife's ticket free.

After great success, the company sent letters to all the wives, asking how was the trip.

All of them gave the same reply..."What trip?"

New SIM to Surprise Her Husband

Woman buys a new Sim Card. Puts it in her phone and decides to surprise her husband, who is seated on the couch in the living room.

She goes to the kitchen, calls her husband with the new number. "Hello Darling."

The husband responds in a low tone: "Let me call you back later Honey, my wife is in the kitchen.
Cool Message by a Wife

Dear Mother-in-law,
"Don't teach me how to handle my children, I'm living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement"

Throwing Knives at Wife's Picture

Husband was throwing knives at his wife's picture. All the knives were missing the target! Suddenly he received a call from her "Hi, what are you doing?"

His honest reply, "MISSING YOU."

Habit of Talking in Sleep

A lady to doctor:  "My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?"

Doctor:   "Give him an opportunity to speak when he is awake."

Natural Disasters Just Happen

Nobody teaches volcanoes to erupt, tsunamis to devastate, hurricanes to swirl around, and no one teaches a man how to choose a wife...........Natural disasters just happen.

Your Husband Needs Rest

Doctor:  "Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills."

Wife:  "Doc, when should I give them to him?"

Doctor:  "They are for you!"

M A R R I A G E !     
At a cocktail party, one man said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong woman.'

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'

A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'

Then there was a woman who said,
'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late.'

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.  

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man , to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death'.

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