Husbands & Wives
Special Package for Businessmen
An Airline introduced a special package for
businessmen - buy your ticket, get your wife's ticket free.
After great success, the company sent letters to all the
wives, asking how was the trip.
All of them gave the same reply..."What trip?"
New SIM to Surprise Her Husband
Woman buys a new Sim Card. Puts it in her phone and
decides to surprise her husband, who is seated on the couch in the living
room.
She goes to the kitchen, calls her husband with the new
number. "Hello Darling."
The husband responds in a low tone: "Let me call you back
later Honey, my wife is in the kitchen.
Cool Message by a Wife
Dear Mother-in-law,
"Don't teach me how to handle my children, I'm living with one of yours and he
needs a lot of improvement"
Throwing Knives at Wife's Picture
Husband was throwing knives at his wife's picture. All the
knives were missing the target! Suddenly he received a call from her "Hi, what
are you doing?"
His honest reply, "MISSING YOU."
Habit of Talking in Sleep
A lady to doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking
in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?"
Doctor: "Give him an opportunity to speak when
he is awake."
Natural Disasters Just Happen
Nobody teaches volcanoes to erupt, tsunamis to devastate,
hurricanes to swirl around, and no one teaches a man how to choose a
wife...........Natural disasters just happen.
Your Husband Needs Rest
Doctor: "Madam, your husband needs rest and peace,
so here are some sleeping pills."
Wife: "Doc, when should I give them to him?"
Doctor: "They are for you!"
M A R R I A G E
!
At a cocktail party, one man said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong woman.'
______
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
__________
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her
keep him. __________
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
__________
A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
__________
A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until
he marries her?' Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
_________
Then there was a woman who said,
'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was
too late.' ________
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence. __________
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you
say, talk in your sleep.
__________
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they
had no faults at all.
__________
First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
__________
A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man , to Love and to forgive
him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll
just beat him to death'.
__________
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